Door to Door Canvassing

I just do not understand how to do door to door canvassing

Over the years, I’ve had my fair share of weird canvassing stories. Well, maybe more than my fair share….I don’t really know why these things happen.

Here is my story: 

It was the year of grade 10. You know that year. Everyone still used msn and gave out emails like angelgirloxox_princess@hotmail.com.

Where I spent most of the morning worrying whether I could potentially be mistaken as a member of Hanson. The fear is real.

That was the year I realized, that I’ll never quite understand how to canvas.

I was collecting cans with my youth group for a local can drive. Seems like a pretty simple task. You know..knock knock…can we have cans..k bye.

After 10 houses, it seemed pretty straightforward.

This house was different. Here is the conversation.

*Ring doorbell*

*dishes clanging* *yelling* *pounding* *multiple locks being undone*

*Door opens*

man: WHAT!?

OKAY HOLD ON-let me paint you a picture here.

Gamer headset: check.

Hot dog in hand: check

Underwear and some gaming t-shirt: check

Mustard on shirt: check

Hatred for whoever was at the door: check

Okay back to the story..

me: excuse me sir, I am collecting cans for United way and I wa…

man: SHUT UP.

me: *terror* oh Im sorry..

man: im not talking to you *points to headset*

me: oh well…im collecting cans for united way…*cant remember whatever I said because I think I blacked out*

man: *yells to the back of the house* SASHA PAUSE THE GAME.

Me: *terror* *loses all sensation in limbs*

Man: YOU ARE SUCH A MEATHEAD

Me:oh...uh..im sorry I didn’t want to impose..

 Man: NOT YOU. *points to headset * WHAT DO YOU WANT

*assumes he is now talking to headset* *silence* *terror* *paralysis*

Man: HELLOOOOOO . IM TALKING TO YOUUUUU.

Me: oh um…charity…cans….help people…yes? (realllllll smooth rach)

Man: Oh yah theres no way im giving oyu anything.*dog walks up* (man starts speaking to dog) Good girl Sasha, you old meathead. *slams door*

HOLD ON. THAT MEANS....DID HE TELL HIS DOG TO PAUSE THE GAME......