How to be Smooth

I just do not understand how to be smooth.

In the Criminal Smoothness System, the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups. The police who investigate the smoothness and the District Attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories..

DUNN DUNN

(that was a Law and Order reference…and if you didn’t get it, well… That means you watch less t.v than I do so you go glen coco)

Working in cities like Toronto there are famous people buzzin about pretty frequently. If you walk down Yonge and Bloor you are bound to see one once in a while. So I was pretty excited when I saw my first one.

So naturally I start fan-girling and go over to say hi.

Unfortunately, it was not who I thought.

This is the conversation:

me: Oh my gosh! I’m such a big fan (mediocre fan-but you can’t go up to someone and say that….that’s just pathetic)!

The fact that this person looked really surprised should have been my first cue.

“famous” person: you’ve heard of me?

me: OF COURSE I HAVE.

“famous” person: wow, not many people have heard of our band [insert band name ive never heard of].

me: *realize he is not who I think he is. *Panics

*silence

*staring

*panic

*more silence

*forgets how to smile, turns out like this...

“famous” person: *thinks I’m starstruck and that’s why I’m awkwardly silent. * Well come give me a hug then!

*more silence

me: yah…um.. I like bands…*walks away.

So theres that.