Board Games

I just do not understand board games.

Recently, I’ve been playing a lot of board games (don’t even pretend like it’s not cool) and I’ve begun to realize how little I understand about them.

Also you should know, if I don’t know or understand the rules, I make them up.

So I guess it’s pretty safe to say I’m like a wizard.

Like take monopoly for example.

A game designed to tear families and life long friendships apart.

Before monopoly: I love you so much Jimmy!

During Monopoly: HAHAHAHAH GO TO JAIL YOU LOSER.

Before monopoly: Nothing will ever come between us.

During monopoly: Mortgage EVERYTHING you have. 

Also, I know this isn’t exactly a board game but can we just talk about Twister for a second? This is my nightmare. It requires coordination AND flexibility AND tolerance of people being close to me. WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME. 

Seriously.  It’s like two evil flexible people got together and were like “lets create a torture instrument with colors and body parts and disguise it as a party game. Muahahahahahhahahaha” *as said by Morgan Freeman.

Just stare at it fore a while. It's mesmerizing.

Also Yahtzee.

The game no one knows how to play.

Settlers of Catan.

Where nothing makes sense but everything makes sense?

Operation:

The game that taught me anxiety and that there are horses in my knee.

Checkers.

Chess for dumb people.

Scrabble

The government’s way of getting you to come up with crosswords. It’s all a conspiracy guyz.

Now that I've sufficiently ruined board games for you, have a wonderful Tuesday. XOXOX (That's not 'hugs and kisses', I just beat you at tic-tac-toe...)