Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Airports


I just do not understand airports.

I love to travel. To here. To there. To That place. To that other place.
Super fun.
And if you get lucky, you get to have some pretty awesome experiences in airports. And by awesome, I mean horrifying.

Security. Where most of the horror goes on.
Remember that one time you forgot you had a fork in your pocket going through security?

It’s funny really-they can’t decide just what to judge you for. 
The fact you're so stupid you left a fork in your pocket or the fact there was a fork in your pocket for convienience sake. Both are valid reasons I guess. 
No regrets.


Or remember that time you were considered a threatening person and were given a patdown, described into the walky talky and then questioned? No? You don’t remember that?

I must say, it made me think back on anything I could have possibly ever done.
“oh my gosh. I put a bunch of fireworks in my checked baggage. Oh no. wait, no. I saw that in a movie. We’re cool.”


And now they have those full body scanners. And I make this face the whole time.

I don’t know what it is about airports but when I see a starbucks, its like a beacon of light swells around it.
“Hi I’ll have a half sweet lactose free light ice chai tea latte”
“All we have is dark or light roast”
“oh okay, ill have a light roast”
“That will be $15”
….I hate everything.

What’s with this computer self check in these days.
“Please insert your passport”
*inserts passport
“system does not recognize. Please try again.”
*reinserts passport
“system does not recognize. Please try again”
*rage builds up *reinserts passport
“system does not recognize. Please try again”

GIRL YOU BETTER RECOGNIZE.

That one time I met Jean Cretian and got him to sign my napkin like I was a fan girl. Not really sure where that napkin is. Probably off with that fork somewhere…Also, I got the prime minister to sign a napkin so…it’s safe to say I ran the country guys.


Stupid story of the week: The year was 2000. I was young. I was na├»ve.  I was curious. I called 911 in the airport to see if the phone dialed out. I was in lots of trouble.

Wow. Maybe I am a threat to national security. 

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