Tuesday 5 November 2013

Exams

I just do not understand exams.

It's that time of year again, and I know I know, we ALL go through them and we all think we have it the worst.
Here is a synopsis of your past couple weeks:
"ALL MY CHEETOS ARE GONE NOW AND I HAVE NOTHING. NOTHING! ALL MY SNACKS ARE GONE AND NOW I HAVE TO STTUUUDYYY"

"Look at those happy people who don't have exams. So young. So free. Don't look at me. Just go."

but let's face it, we all need a study break. So people, put down that big bag of 'study snack' (yah i know what you did), stop crying, and ladies take that big ol' Mulan bun out on the top of your head.
Let's talk.

Can we talk about essays for a second? 
We are told the whole semester, "a good essay cannot be written the day before it is due" and then all of a sudden during exams it's all like "YOU HAVE ONE HOUR TO WRITE THE BEST ESSAY YOU HAVE EVER WRITTEN IN YOUR ENTIRE LIFE."

and i'm all like..
and


Also, who is the evil person who came up with multiple multiples?
A. B. C. D. THATS IT. I don't need none of this a b c d and sometimes Y nonsense.

And it never fails. I always end up studying next to one of the classic Library stereotypes. 

Stereotype # 1: The gum chewer. 
 And by gum, i mean concrete. And by chewer, I mean destroyer.



Stereotype #2: The heavy breather.



Excuse me, are you Darth Vader? No?

alright then.
Buh-bye.

Stereotype #3: The Obnoxious Couple

"Babe. Babe. Babe. I'm hungry. I'm gunna go get food."
"babe. babe. I'll be RIGHT BACK babe. I miss you already babey boo boo boo."

Me:

Stereotype #4: The Boom Boom Pow

I get it. You like your music loud.  And you like listening to 'mad beats by Dre'.


Don't get me wrong. I love music. And I love listening to it loud. But I'm seriously concerned for your hearing. When the bass drops in the song, I'd rather not think there was a small explosion somewhere in the library. 
OH and by the way, I don't keep looking up at you and sighing because I'm sad that I am not listening to these 'sick beats' too.
It's cause I wish you'd "party rock'' your behind out of the library.

Stereotype #5: The Chatty Cathys. 

Step 1: Take out books
Step 2: Never look at them ever again.
Step 3: Talk about how much you hate your professor/that class/how life is just unfair and you are merely a victim of the system/that new episode of the secret life of werewolf girls of grey's anatomy




And to be clear, I have obviously never ever done any of these.

Cause I'm perfect.




So good luck on exams, and if you encounter a stereotype, maybe give them a break.
Chances are, you are probably just as annoying.


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