So anyone who knows me, knows that I love movies.
If you don't know me and are reading this, then you should probably be doing something much more valuable with your time. Like reading a book. Or Adopting a highway.
If you do know me, then you knew what you were getting into and thats on you.
I feel like movies have lost their edge these days. I mean, people say there is a great one once in a blue moon, but the moon looks pretty white to me so I have no idea what those people are talking about. The moon is obviously not blue, it's made of cheese.
Wait...WHAT IF ITS BLUE CHEESE.
So, I resolved to be the solution of this problem. Because if you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Here are my spiced up versions of movies that I hope one day get made. I think they are oscar worthy personally, but I'll leave that to the Academy to decide after they rectify the greatest tragedy in movie history....
Where no cleaner has gone before.
2. Spanx on a Plane
120 minutes of people not being able to breathe.3. Bean-atar.
"Can you paint with all the colours of the Bean?"
4. Frozen Vegetables
"Let it Thaw! Let it Thaw! Broccoli never bothered me anyway"
5. Oprah-the Great and Powerful
" And YOU get a flying monkey, and YOU get a flying monkey"
So, any movie directors who are reading this: these are my suggestions. And yes. Yes I know I am a genius.