Valentine's Day

So I know I haven't written in a while. I'm sure it's been the longest most difficult couple weeks of your life and you didn't know how to go on without knowing about things I don't understand.

But in the spirit of Valentine's Day-I thought it deserved one.

I just do not understand Valentine's Day.

Okay, that's a big Lie.

I LOVE VALENTINES DAY. SUE ME.
Chocolate is on sale. Flowers are everywhere and I can wear extreme amounts of pink without judgment. What's not to love!?

*i can almost feel the judgment coming through the computer screen*

ANYWAYS (haters gunna hate-potatoes gunna potate)
Remember in elementary school where you used to make the paper bags and people would stick cute valentines in them? And let's be serious, everyone loved the kid who put candy in theirs. 

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THAT. *ill staple one to my backpack so people can stick candy in it. * WOW IM A GENIUS.
I guess, That's what I don't understand. Valentines used to be cute, like: 

Let's examine the elements here:
cute puppy= check
heart=check
cute little message=check

SO CUTE.

and NOW this is what I see:

okay, wait this is kind of awesome. 
again...the elements:
heart: check
pink: check
cute little message: kinda stalkery but still acceptable
cute little creature: sure.

Okay, Let's try again.

my reaction:

"Excuse me, 9-1-1? Can I please speak to CSI? A stalker just left me a Valentine and also, i want a pizza...not sure if you do that-but you protect and serve soo...protect my right to have pizza served to me"

*k that was super unrelated but completely accurate.

and finally:

THE HORROR.


So please excuse me. It's time for me to go scout out some on sale chocolate, put my body weight's worth of cinnamon hearts into my bag and blast some Michael Buble. Bublay. Bubble? Whatever.