Celebrity Fragrances

I just do not understand celebrity fragrances.

Like who was sitting in a room and was thinking “I want everyone to smell like me. That’s the dream.”

Is it necessary TO SMELL like someone?

Also, the names…I can’t even.

Kim Kardashian: Pure Honey.

Yah…that’s exactly what I want to do. Coat myself in honey. MADNESS. 

Justin Bieber: girlfriend.

Could that not be a more generic name?

I’ll just come out with one called Person by Rachael

Also, the fact that Bruce Willis has a fragrance is just too much for me. I took the liberty to come up with the slogan.

Live fast. Smell nice.

Or One Direction.

“Our Moment”

This isn’t a moment. It’s smelly water. Can we just calm down please.

The commercials are the best part.

They are so dramatic. Like REALLY dramatic. It’s like watching Titanic x The Lord of the Rings, if the orcs were replaced with Meryl Streep and Nicole Kidman. (wow someone should make that movie *mental note to self)

There are meaningful stares in the camera. Some playful blushing.

“This moment is perfect. YOURE perfect. It just doesn’t…smell right.”

Also, I confess I thought “Eau de toilette” meant it smelled like a toilet for a very long time.

Guys, it was a FANCY toilet.